Fave funny lines...

[I*Heart*Jorja]

I was watching I-15 murders today. And Sara said one of my new fave lines! So it got me thinking do you people have fave funny lines?

Here is the Convo with my fave Sara funny line-
Warrick: You just dont give up do you?
Sara: Its a flaw.

Here is one of my fave Grissom lines-
Sara: Arent you the one who said that we are the victims last voice. (or something like that )
Grissom: Do you record everything i say?
Sara: *Shrugs*

Greg funny line...no convo needed:
Greg: Anal Swabs

Thats it so far...

[DrDnar]

"I take it that's not blood?"
"No. But there's protein in it."
"Mile-high club. That means two passengers may have had no idea what was going on inside that cabin."
"Having sex at this altitude is supposed to enhance the entire sexual experience. Increase the euphoria."
"Well, it's good but I don't know if it's that good. Cite your source."
"Hand me a swab, please."
"You're avoiding the question. 'Ehances sexual experience, increases euphoria.' Cite your source."
"A magazine."
"What magazine?"
"Applied Psychodynamics in Forensic Science."
"Never heard of it."
"I'll get you a subscription. Now site your source."
"Oh, now you want to go down that road. Never mind."
"You started it."
"Delta Airlines, Flight 1109, Boston to Miami, March '93, Ken Fuller, hazel eyes, organic chem lab, T.A., BMOC, overrated in every aspect. Could we get back to work please."
"Yeah, I think due to your first hand knowledge and experience in airplane bathrooms you should do the swab."
"Fine."
-- Sara Sidle and Gil Grissom (Unfriendly Skies)

[I*Heart*Jorja]

yah and the look and grissoms face is priceless

[darthgeek]

Grissom: "I come here for calamari."
Catherine: "Oh, alone?"
Grissom: "No, I sometimes have a beer with it."

Girl: "I love you."
Grissom: "Thank you... you are a total stranger to me."
Warrick: "Don't take it personally, Miss. He's kinda married to his job."

Sara: "Going back to the girl. I left her in the car.(I love Grissom's face right here) But the windows are cracked... Give me a little credit. She's at the hospital."

And I don't know if it counts as a funny line but i like the episode where Grissom infects Greg's feet with a rash. I can't remember exactly what was going on but that one always makes me laugh.

[Dragondancer]

I love the one where Grissom infects Greg too:

*right before grissom infects him*
"See, now we're getting into this whole strip forensics thing and I'm not
so sure I can hang with that even if you are my boss."

*after infection*
I'm Hazmat meat. Quarantine, here I come..."
"You infected me with MILDEW!?"



random others:

"I am the man."
"Why? What did you do? Let me guess. You ran a DNA profile on the blood from the dead guy's knuckles and you got a match."
"No."
"You ran a DNA profile and something very distinctive popped up?"
"Not quite."
"You made it out of bed and you dressed yourself?"

"You smell like death."
"I've heard."
"You know ... a real man wouldn't mind."

sigh- so many greg quotes, so little time

[Abbee]

LoL, strip forensics... I love that line. My favourite's in the pilot:

Dr Klausbach: "This victim was shot from six to seven feet away..."

It makes me crack up every time. It's like he's reciting a textbook. XD

[forensics101]

"Life's like holding a dove. You hold it too hard..."
     "... you kill it."
"Hold it too soft..."
          "... and it'll fly away."
-- Gil Grissom, Catherine Willows and Sara Sidle (Anonymous)
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"They say the eyes are the window to the soul."
     "Yeah, my grandma used to say that all the time."
"In a way, it's true. The aqueous fluid and the vitreous in the human eye allows for an image to be reflected in it."
-- Gil grissom and Warrick Brown (Burden of Proof)
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"Oh, these fire guys really know how to trash a crime scene."
     "That's what they do. Put wet stuff on the red stuff."
-- Catherine Willows and Gil Grissom (Boom)
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"It's kind of like that old saying: 'How a person does one thing is ..."
     "... how a person does everything.'"
-- Teri Miller and Gil Grissom (To Halve and to Hold)
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GRISSOM: Did you know that your golf course paints its grass?
GWEN ANDERSON: Excuse me?
GRISSOM: It's actually a vegetable dye. Biodegradable. They've been using green dye on television tournaments for several years.
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"'The last act is bloody, however, fine the rest of the play.'"
     "Pascal. Very impressive. I prefer Buddha, though. 'Even death is not to be feared by those who lived wisely.'"
-- Susan Hillridge and Gil Grissom (Justice is Served)
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"Look, let's stick to the 'how' -- we'll deal with the 'why' later."
-- Gil Grissom to Nick Stokes (Chaos Theory)
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"Every now and then, we have to break the rules. Start with a conclusion and work our way backwards."
-- Gil Grissom (Overload)
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"You never get a second chance to make a first impression."
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"Genetically we're 92.7% identical with gorillas."
     "It's hard to tell where the human ends and the animal begins."
"Well said."
-- Teri Miller and Sara Sidle (Evaluation Day
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"Most people don't admit when they're wrong."
     "I'm wrong all the time. That's how I eventually get to right."
-- Nick Stokes and Gil Grissom (Justice is Served)
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"Anybody who's great at anything, Nick, does it for their own approval not someone else's."
-- Gil Grissom to Nick Stokes (Evaluation Day)
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"That's the funny thing about choices. Once you make them you have to live with them."
-- Nick Stokes to Dr. Leigh Sapien (Overload)
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"There's one thing you learn on this job is that human beings are capable of anything."
-- Catherine Willows to Nick Stokes (Slaves of Las Vegas)
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"Did you know that ninety-seven percent of all hundred dollar bills have traces of cocaine on them?"
     "I was the one that told you that."
-- Sara Sidle and Ronnie Litre (Ellie)
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"Evidence only knows one thing: the truth. It is what it is."
-- Gil Grissom to Warrick Brown (Friends & Lovers)
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"And what are you doing about it now?"
     "Going back to the girl. I left her in the car. But the windows are cracked... Give me a little credit. She's at the hospital."
-- Gil Grissom and Sara Sidle (Blood Drops)
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"Maybe we could get a 'Kodak moment' of this guy."
-- Gil Grissom (Anonymous)
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"There was a murder. Recently, on the other side of the world. And every man in the village denied having any part in it. The victim's throat was slashed with a shovel. So, this one guy, I guess you could call him a science nerd, asked all the men in the village to bring their shovels to the center of town. And hold them spade-side up. And he waited. And eventually flies started showing up on one specific shovel. Looking for microscopic bits of blood and flesh."
     "First witness to a crime."
"The investigator got his murderer, and --"
     "And forensic science was born. Sung T'su. Twelve-thirty five, A.D. You call eight hundred years ago recent?
To an astronomer, it is. But then people forgot about forensic science, didn't they? And had to be reminded again by Francesco Redi in the 1600's."
     "And again with Bergeret d'Arbois in the 1800's."
"Every civilization learns what it needs to know, and the next one forgets it."
-- Gil Grissom and Sara Sidle (Sex, Lies and Larvae)
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"You're confused right."
     "Yes."
"That's the best place for a scientist to be."
-- Gil Grissom and Sara Sidle (Sex, Lies and Larvae)
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"Max and Marlene 2E and F. You two are married. Who wants to wear the pants?"
     "CSI Three seniority. Sweetie."
"Yeah, whatever. You're hen-pecked, anyway."
-- Gil Grissom, Nick Stokes and Warrick Brown (Unfriendly Skies)
"Yeah, go ahead honey, save my life."
-- Warrick Brown to Nick Stokes, pretending they are married (Unfriendly Skies)
"Excuse me buttercup."
-- Nick Stokes to Warrick Brown, pretending they are married (Unfriendly Skies)
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"I want to be Shannon. Good."
     "The stewardess?"
"Excuse me, it's flight attendant."
-- Sara Sidle and Warrick Warrick (Unfriendly Skies)
"Let me guess. You're the computer geek?"
     "In the interest of clarity, yes."
-- Sara Sidle and Gil Grissom (Unfriendly Skies)
"That's when you got up and grabbed the broken wine neck."
     "And saved Nick's butt as usual."
-- Sara Sidle and Warrick Brown (Unfriendly Skies)
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just some...but there are soo many good lines out there from CSI

[Calypso]

I like this one Greg quote so much it made it into my email signature for all the world to see.

Greg speaking to Grissom: Just for the record, I'm really glad I have a penis.

[themusicalpoet]

*Doc Robbins pulls a human head out of a bucket in the morgue*
"I had heard you got some head."
-- Gil Grissom

[Calypso]

I just saw that episode, that scene was hilarious.

[I*Heart*Jorja]

a sara line...fine suit,
just fine

[gilandsara22]

This Greg line is so cute:
Greg Sanders: I'm like a sponge: I just absorb information.
Gil Grissom: I thought that was my line.
Greg Sanders: Yeah - I absorbed it.

[(((Thump)))]

Catherine: It's never a good sign when a guy has more women than furniture.
Grissom: What's the ratio here?
Catherine: Judging from these stains, I'd say four women for every piece of furniture including the TV. At least we know what this guy was about: bucks, pucks and...chicks.

Grissom: Could be a piece of wrist bone.
Catherine: Well, do you want to suck on it? To be sure?

Greg: All work and no play makes Greg a dull boy.
Grissom: All play and no work makes Greg an UNEMPLOYED boy.

Grissom: May we come in?
Lady Heather: Say the magic word.
Brass: Warrant.

Brass: I don’t think you two are murders, I think you’re just felony stupid.

[nicksgirl05]

Grissom: Never was there a tale of more woe. Than that of Juliet and her Romeo..(dramatic pause>>)

Greg: found a condom wrapper.

Grissom: so much for safe sex.
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[Calypso]

I remember that, it was hilarious.